Who said a punishment can’t be erotic? I’m not the one being punished. I have my beautiful bride standing in front of me with me telling her to drop her pants. Now I have a view of my beautiful bride. Then I tell her to lay across my lap (Now gentlemen if that is not sexy to you, you need to get to know your bride again.) Now I have my bride half naked laying across my lap and touching her bare skin; Beautiful! OK now remember I still have a job to do, she has earned it, she has submitted to it (me), lets get it over with. The swats come, the swats are hard; she does not like it one bit! Has she had enough? If so it is over, now is the time to let her know I still love her (talk to her in Her love language). If Not take a break, repeat above.
What is more erotic than having the love of your life truly submit to you in a time where all natural instincts say to RUN! And RUN FAST? What is more erotic than your bride standing in front of you half dressed? What is more erotic than the control you have over the situation.
Now what is the difference between this and BDSM? This will truly be punishment for her; there is no fun in it for her. This is to correct a negative behavior, not to release endorphins that make her feel good. Nor is it intended to beat her into submission. She submits of her own free will, she does not cower in fear!
Thank you My love. Very well put.
ReplyDeleteNext topic? Rubbing that sore backside. Many blogs (by men) say never.
ReplyDeletePlease?
I think my husband would agree with every word in this post. Oh, and yes..he rubs and caresses after.
ReplyDeleteAfter the spanking is over, all is forgiven. It is over. His hands rubbing away the pain is one of the ways he lets me know it is ok. That all is forgiven. I don’t know what I would do if he didn’t give me that contact. To be alone and crying without his touch would be miserable.
ReplyDeleteI am going to let my hubby read this post. It might encourage him to be a bit more consistent. I thought we had it down pat a week ago but now once again I am not so sure.
ReplyDeleteThank you Stormy and Kiwi I plan on posting a little more often on the way I see things. I need to work on the consistant thing too.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that any blog out there states that "punishment is not erotic". It IS for all the reasons you have stated.
ReplyDeleteThe debate going on is whether or not "erotic spanking" and "punishment spanking" are two very different things. And, should sex follow punsihment. Obviously, even punsihment, how ever UN-fun, can cause arousal. But, is it productive to move directly to sex after a punsihment is finished.
One example is....if a child is punshed for a behavior, by any means... Does the parent punsih the child and then say...."ok, thats finished, now we're going out for ice cream"
NOOOO that would defete the purpose. Now I know the wife is NOT a child, but its the same principle, the same psychology at work here. You are not going to "reward" a bad behavior. Even if the child accepts and takes there punishment with no resistance, they are still being punished. Its the same with a wife, especially one that may enjoy impact play or "erotic spanking". That is sending a mixed message. Its either for fun or its "for real"
Now, "intimacy" after punishment is totally different. That should and really MUST follow a punishment. That includes physical and emotional connection on a non sexual level.
So there is really no debat as to wether punishment spanking is erotic.
But what are your thoughts on sex after punsihment, and why??
@ Neveah-67 I’m glad we agree on one thing Spanking is sensual, but that sounds like just about the end of it. In my opinion the erotic spanking and punishment spanking are different; if in no other way than the purpose. You ask is it productive to move directly to sex after a punishment; that is not a yes or no question as it appears. Even your example is not as simple as it appears. Yes I will have sex with my wife after a punishment is over if I feel that it is appropriate at the time. The Situation dictates what is and what is not appropriate. Yes, I have taken my kids out for ice cream right after I have punished them; No there was no mixed signal there. The signal was you screw up and that needs to be corrected, but I still love you and will reward you for something else you did right. (Negative reinforcement for a rule broken/positive reinforcement for positive action) As I stated there are NO hard and fast rules for discipline. Mixed messages are not sent by what you do after the punishment, but by not being consistent with your punishment and rules! If you make up a rule to enforce today, and another tomorrow, so-on/so-forth that creates confusion. Not communicating also creates confusion (you are getting a spanking for this. Do you know what that spanking was for?) I am not a robot or someone who accepts a Yes do this always or No don’t ever do this. Negative and positive action can happen simultaneously. I give discipline base on situation not what someone else tells me I should do! I know my wife, I know my kids, I give the minimum amount of punishment to achieve the desired effect.
ReplyDeleteYes, my kids do get ice cream after a punishment. It does not send mixed signals. Inconsistency does. Once a punishment is over, it is over. Prolonging the misery serves no purpose other than revenge.
ReplyDeleteOne more thing. Yes, I do enjoy erotic spanking but I have to tell you a punishment spanking is no fun. They are not the same. There is no confusion or blurring of lines. I love my husband with everything that I am. Why wouldn’t it hurt me to know I have disappointed him? Why wouldn’t it hurt when he punishes? Sex after a punishment is a time to reconnect. I usually isn’t planned that way but what better way to make up?
ReplyDeleteYou are a good, wise man, Dragon! After punishment, re-connection NEEDS to take place, no matter what form that it takes!!!
ReplyDeleteAnything less is a symbol of LACK of forgiveness and isolation!! Nothing re-affirming about that--nothing positive about that either. I am SURE that you would agree with me that a discipline session should be a POSITIVE experience, an experience that motivates, that builds up the recipient, instead of breaking her down!!
Enjoying your blogs,
Bob.