To rub or not to rub that is the question!

Lets take a couple of questions that will answer Missie’s question.  I am not an expert or a counselor, just a man that loves my wife!

What is the purpose of Domestic Discipline?  Is it to Beat your wife into submission?  Is it to gain sexual gratification?  Or is it to correct behavior? 

Well beating your wife into submission is not DD it is domestic violence!  There is a fine line and it is easy to cross so be careful!  Yes I do find spanking my wife very sexy and erotic, but I can do that and consider it BDSM.  Again BDSM is closely related to DD, but they are different because of their intended purpose.  The sole purpose of DD is to correct behavior, just like any discipline.

Are there any Hard and fast rules to DD?  Can DD punishment be sensual?  Can my wife caress herself after punishment? Can I caress my wife after punishment and it still be effective?

No there are no hard and fast rules to DD; just like there no hard and fast rule for child discipline.  Again there is that fine line that you have to be careful with, is it discipline or is it abuse?  Yes, DD can be sensual the idea is to correct a behavior that you don’t like in your wife.  That can be done with a conversation, with reflection time (corner time, time out, whatever you want to call it), or with corporal punishment.  My goal is to use the minimal amount of punishment to get the desired effect.  If the desired effect is her submission then why not end with something sensual that makes her want to submit to me?  Now caressing …Swats sting and hurt.  I give a lot of swats sometimes and I am not always gentle.  When I am done Missie knows she has been punished and the action will change, or it will happen again.  Once the swats are over I do not have a problem with her rubbing her backside to stop the stinging.  She knows where it came from and why!  She acknowledges that it smarts and does not want to visit it again.  

I do not intend to be cruel or ugly to my wife.  The minimum amount of punishment for the desired effect! (rubbing is fine with me)

Truth!

Sermon time…(Scripture Reference at the bottom)

Is it always necessary to state the “truth” as you see it?  Is it always appropriate to comment when you disagree with something?  What I was taught by my parents and church leaders is it is not my place to judge, but it is my place to love.  How often do we forget this simple fact? 

I was also taught that I am a sinner and need to strive to be Christ like.  I do that (and I fall short) and I am not saying you don’t.  I cannot know that.  I was taught that all sin is equal in the eyes of the Lord, I get this.  I’ve heard it said “Hate the sin, Love the sinner!” I disagree with this statement.  That puts the judgment in my hands of what is right and wrong (see Matthew 7:1-4 below) I have a hard time with this.  I believe in Love the sinner (See Mark 12 28-34) and teach from the book of truth so that they know the truth. You still have to be careful in your interpretation of the truth!  The Old Testament is full of law that is no longer practiced in today’s society, does that make it any less binding?  I don’t know, but who am I to choose 1 law to follow, and say another does not matter.  The New Testament does spell some of them out and there is no question about those and sums it up quite nicely.  Follow the commandments, Love the Lord with all your heart, mind, sole and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.

So with that said I ask these questions again: Is it always necessary to state the “truth” as you see it?  Is it always appropriate to comment when you disagree with something?  Even if the truth hurts one of your neighbors?  Should you hurt your neighbor by telling them you hate what they do (what makes them who they are) because he/she is Fat, gay, lesbian, a thief, and adultery (adulteress)?  What about the person sitting next to you in Church, who has “repented of their sins,”  are they not still sinning in some way?  How do you know the lady on TV that just killed he children did not repent of her sins?  I’m not saying you have to be friends, best buddies, or even carry on a conversation with them.  What I am saying is don’t be cruel and hurtful to them.  Think about what you want to say and ask yourself Does it need to be said? And Does it need to be said by me?  Love your neighbor as yourself!

I understand it is my civil responsibility to serve on a jury to determine (judge) if someone has broken a law of the land. That is true, but it is not our place to decide their eternal standings.

I am not perfect.  This is just as much to remind myself as it is anyone else. 

Judge Not

Matthew 7:1-4 (KJV) ¹Judge not, that ye be not judged.  ²For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. ³And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?  ⁴Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?  ⁵Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
Matthew 7:1-4 (HCS) ¹ "Do not judge, so that you won't be judged. ² For with the judgment you use, ^[a] you will be judged, and with the measure you use, ^[b] it will be measured to you. ³ Why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye but don't notice the log in your own eye? ⁴ Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and look, there's a log in your eye?

Love your neighbor as yourself

Mark 12:28-34 (KJV)   ²⁸And one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, and perceiving that he had answered them well, asked him, Which is the first commandment of all? ²⁹And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord:  ³⁰And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.  ³¹And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these. ³²And the scribe said unto him, Well, Master, thou hast said the truth: for there is one God; and there is none other but he: ³³And to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love his neighbour as himself, is more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices. ³⁴And when Jesus saw that he answered discreetly, he said unto him, Thou art not far from the kingdom of God. And no man after that durst ask him any question.
Mark 12:28-34 (HCS)   ²⁸ One of the scribes approached. When he heard them debating and saw that Jesus answered them well, he asked Him, "Which commandment is the most important of all?" ²⁹ "This is the most important," ^[k] Jesus answered: Listen, Israel! The Lord our God, The Lord is One. ^{[l] 30} Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. ^{[m] 31} "The second is: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these." ³² Then the scribe said to Him, "You are right, Teacher! You have correctly said that He is One, and there is no one else except Him. ³³ And to love Him with all your heart, with all your understanding, ^[n] and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself, is far more [important] than all the burnt offerings and sacrifices." ³⁴ When Jesus saw that he answered intelligently, He said to him, "You are not far from the kingdom of God." And no one dared to question Him any longer.

Dragon Talk

Who said a punishment can’t be erotic?  I’m not the one being punished.  I have my beautiful bride standing in front of me with me telling her to drop her pants.  Now I have a view of my beautiful bride.  Then I tell her to lay across my lap (Now gentlemen if that is not sexy to you, you need to get to know your bride again.)  Now I have my bride half naked laying across my lap and touching her bare skin; Beautiful!  OK now remember I still have a job to do, she has earned it, she has submitted to it (me), lets get it over with.  The swats come, the swats are hard; she does not like it one bit!  Has she had enough?  If so it is over, now is the time to let her know I still love her (talk to her in Her love language).  If Not take a break, repeat above. 

What is more erotic than having the love of your life truly submit to you in a time where all natural instincts say to RUN! And RUN FAST?  What is more erotic than your bride standing in front of you half dressed?  What is more erotic than the control you have over the situation. 

Now what is the difference between this and BDSM?  This will truly be punishment for her; there is no fun in it for her.  This is to correct a negative behavior, not to release endorphins that make her feel good.  Nor is it intended to beat her into submission.  She submits of her own free will, she does not cower in fear!